Narrative Break 1 -Shoulda Coulda Woulda

Thank you for reading my story.

I started writing this because of the issues my son and I are going through now with his father; I figured a blog was a good way to keep my family and friends updated. While I am frustrated that I haven't yet reached the present day, I find that it has been very therapeutic writing the background information down.

Although I mostly cringe when I remember my life back then, I recognize all of my mistakes and why I made them. Burying my head in the sand, hoping for the best, keeping a low profile--none of these "coping strategies" did me a lick of good. Yeah, I had low self-esteem, was a victim, was a fool; now I am trying to acknowledge it and move on. All the fears I had, from being socially ostracized as a single mother to being afraid for my physical safety from my ex-husband, were nothing compared to the mess my child and I are dealing with now. If I had been strong enough to stand up to my ex-husband back then, my son would not be his bargaining chip, his tug-o-war rope, his monkey-in-the-middle.

Maybe one of you knows someone in a similar situation, or going down a similar path. Tell them about me. Tell them to read my blog. Tell them you care. Tell them they are not alone.

I appreciate your attention, and I welcome your comments.

Comments

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[Lu]

Glad I stopped in. Thought marrying an illegal for money would bring in some cash but now will take a real job anywhere to avoid this heartache.
Thanks guys, you saved one more from ruin!!!

[Frank]

I worked and lived for 10 years in the States and I never felt nor did I experience any hate from any American. However, because of animals ( and I'm sorry for the animals) like "Alien", many people tends to mix up all immigrants in a same pot.

I have read all your posts and am truly glad that everything has finally ended in a positive note. God bless you both.

Imelda, the only stupid thing here is your comment.

[Shoulda]

No one said anything about a "hatred of illegal aliens" or a hatred of anything else, for that matter. That's absurd.

[Imelda]

I feel sorry for people who just have soooooo much hate with illegal aliens. Your hatred resonates all over this stupid blog!

[Jem, aka Shoulda Coulda Woulda]

Hey there, Marie,
How common is it for *anyone* to pretend "it's love"? People do it for money, for position, for respectibility, for power, and for control, as well as for papers.

If I may be so bold, I think perhaps you should not care whether your soon-to-be-ex husband is being duped or not. It seems he has moved on, and whether you are truly looking out for him or not, he will probably see it as unwelcome meddling and an attempt to make him return to you.

As for her leaving after marriage...where would she go? She's not going back to her country (at least not permanently). Divorce has 50-50 odds here in the US, so it could happen. Again, let him worry about that. Be glad that the woman he conveniently met "one week" after he left you has to deal with him now.

Thank you for posting.

Take care,
Shoulda Coulda Woulda

[MARIE]

My husband and I are about to divorce. He told me the peron he met "one week" after he left and is still with now almost two years later is an illeagal alien. I don't trust her. He says its love. I wonder if she wants her papers from him. She says she was divorced in her country. She came through Mexico and took a flight here. She has been here five years illegally. She cleans offices and mobile homes during the day. Sound familiar. Do you think he is being duped. How common is it for an alien to pretend its love and just want papers and leave after marriage.

[Priscilla]

Thank you so much for being so courageous and starting your blog. I've appreciated the information that you have shared and admit to being dismayed that things like this happen. Hopefully your experiences will educate and inform many. Good luck!