While waiting for a response, I took the liberty of arranging visitation at one of the places which specialize in that sort of thing. I chose a place in town, which is closer to Alien (or, at least, his sister's house), and about 45 miles away from me. I set everything up, and Mrs. Lady passed the information to Mr. Man.
Next thing I knew, I got a call from a visitation place here in my city. Alien had begun the process, and we needed to come in for our intake. I was wary, because I figured there must be some angle to it for him. The fact that this is so damned far from his sister's house and the last place I know he lived, leads me to believe that he lives closer to me now. Hell, he probably lives in my town.
I called them back, and made my appointment for an intake. This was around the first week in April. It went okay. Funny enough--the place offers visitation services for familes affected by domestic violence. I wonder if Alien knows that.
Alien, meanwhile, did not come in for his intake interview until mid-May. Because he cares so much. He also wanted me to pay the $5,000 guardian ad litum fee by myself, instead of splitting it 50/50 as I offered to do. Excuse me, but if I had nothing to hide, I would do everything in my power to make sure the truth came to light. The G.A.L. investigates the situation and interviews the child, among others, to determine the validity of the child's testimony. Why wouldn't Alien want to hire one? Oh, yes, that's right: because he knows he is in the wrong.
We had our first supervised visit May 24, 2005. I decided Tuesday evenings worked best for us, because we do a lot of weekend family trips during the summer, and I saw no reason to cut into those. The visits take place in a large living room area. The monitor sits in the corner, and tries to be unobtrusive, yet available for the child so s/he feels safe. I waited in another room. Everything is set up so Alien and I do not have to see each other.
Nos was trying to talk to Alien about school and sports, but it was difficult. For example, Nos told me Alien asked, "Do the kids be 11 when they have leave?" Nos had no idea what he was saying. I translated: "Honey, he probably was asking if the school goes up to 5th or 6th grade." Nos was quizzing him on American History (I think there was some map or something on the wall), and was amazed Alien didn't know how many states there are and other basic, second grade questions like that. There was so much silence, that the monitor suggested that, next time, Nos just bring a movie to watch with Alien.
I was, as always, carefully neutral.
When we got home, Nos said, "Thank God I only have to do that once a month; it cuts into my plans." I said, "What plans do you have, little boy?" Nos replied, "Oh, you know--personal time."
I love that boy.
So do I! and you too for sharing all of this with us..Thanks
Posted by: Frank | Friday, August 15, 2008 at 11:04 AM